I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
