There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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