Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
