dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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