Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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