what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize