so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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