Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
