i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
