At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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