I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
