whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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