I'm really into asian looking animals
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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