you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
