WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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