Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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