All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
