Tell her she can't have a vagina
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her