if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
