I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
