omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my sisters under your porch take her home
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
