Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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