we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
