I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize