this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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