question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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