My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize