Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
