are you still at the devil's house?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
