There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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