Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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