Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
