apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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