it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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