Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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