I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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