I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you win again, gameday.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
