He is an equal opportunity slut.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
