soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
