the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
