bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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