so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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