Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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