Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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