He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm bleeding and have questions
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
