I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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