ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
