i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
