P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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