"it" just moved
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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