Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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