Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Everything about him screamed your future.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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