Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
