dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
