i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
