And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
