if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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