I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
