It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
