those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
