That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
