Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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