At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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