Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

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  (808): no, he came in my armpit http://tfl.nu/0ngk
  Replies (29) Good night (1400) Bad night (10109)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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  (503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/hko9
  Replies (24) Good night (939) Bad night (5611)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.

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  (407): woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over. http://tfl.nu/kn1h
  Replies (11) Good night (675) Bad night (3279)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

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  (218): Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion. http://tfl.nu/1y37
  Replies (23) Good night (5212) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

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  (863): There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent. http://tfl.nu/g0ez
  Replies (21) Good night (7227) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.

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  (714): If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual. http://tfl.nu/13n4
  Replies (10) Good night (2460) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

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  (847): Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!" http://tfl.nu/mldx
  Replies (5) Good night (2389) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We still on for coffee?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.

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  (443): We still on for coffee? (410): Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45. http://tfl.nu/m7ui
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.

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  (570): Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter. http://tfl.nu/84op
  Replies (11) Good night (1253) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  This is why I married you.

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  (479): The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning. (479): Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight? (1-479): This is why I married you. http://tfl.nu/g5es
  Replies (4) Good night (2722) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!

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  (604): I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits! http://tfl.nu/vxu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?

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  (858): Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body? http://tfl.nu/gksx
  Replies (8) Good night (306) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.

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  (405): Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want. http://tfl.nu/hc2w
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  How early is too early to study with margaritas?

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  (256): How early is too early to study with margaritas? http://tfl.nu/2gtu
  Replies (5) Good night (509) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.

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  (803): By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding. http://tfl.nu/2avy
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (247)

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