last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
