Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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