Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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